How to Piss off Every Character in KH
by Stumblealot
Summary: Read, Read and Review
1. Intro

**Me: Ok I am here to tell you how to piss off every KH character. Except for Organization 13**

**Axel: Hey**

**Me: Well there there are plenty of stories about you guys like this one**

**Roxas: She's right you know**

**Me: Thank you**

**Axel: You should still add us in the stories**

**Me: Axel just forget about it**

**Axel: No**

**Me: I'll let you help me through the story**

**Axel: .........Do I get to burn things?**

**Me: Yes**

**Axel: Woo hoo *Starts to burn my couch***

**Me: Oi stop burning my couch**

**Axel: Uh sorry**

**Me simply sighed**

**Roxas: Hey I want to join**

**Me: Dam it, fine**

**Xigbar: Hey what about me?**

**Me: Xigbar how did you get here? **

**Xigbar: The door was open**

**Me glares at him**

**Xigbar: Fine I was eavesdropping on you**

**Me: How many times must I tell you not to eavesdrop on me?**

**Xigbar: Sorry**

**Me: Fine you can help to, but no more**

**The rest of the KH characters: Awwwww**

**Me: Sorry guys. Anyway use these wisely they will come in handy when your in KH (if you go to KH) Soooo..rememeber to review, review and review**

**Axel: Got it memorised?**

**Roxas: I think we get the picture**

**Axel: Fine**

**Me: Anyway please Review**


	2. Sora

Me: Well time to piss off Sora

Axel: Woo hoo *starts to burn my second couch*

Me: Hey thats my second couch

Axel: Hehehe

Roxas: Um Axel my Ipod was on that couch

Xigbar: So was my eyepatch

Me: Here Xigbar have a pink one

Xigbar: Cool pink

Axel: Umm sorry guys

Me: Anyway time to piss off Sora

* * *

1. Grab Sora's Keyblade and use it as a back scratcher

2. Die Sora's hair Green

3. Give Sora half a papou fruit with a note saying "Hey Sora eat it you know you want to" signed Riku

4. Watch Sora bash up Riku

5. While Sra is asleep grab Kairi's make-up kit and put it all on Sora (Leave the kit there)

6. When Sora wakes up watch him scream

7. When he finds out it was Kairi's watch him yell at her

8. Watch Kairi bash up Sora

9. Push Sora onto Riku and scream "YAOI"

10. Watch Sora and Riku run from the fangirls

11. Kick him where the sun don't shine

12. Grab his Keyblade and say "Cool Vibrater Sora is it for Kairi?"

13. Go into Sora's room and cover it in flowers, then go to Riku and knock him out. Take off all of his clothes (except for his boxers) and tie him up in Sora's bed. Then leave a letter saying "Hey Sora here's a early birthday present" Signed Tidus

14. Run to Sora and say "Sora you must go to your room"

15. When Sora goes to his room Watch him in horror.

16. Once Sora has read the letter, watch him beat up Tidus

17. Fill his room with fangirls

18. Watch him run from them

19. Leave a SoraXRiku, SoraXAnsem and SoraXRoxas stories on his bed saying "Open please"

20. Watch him die in horror

21. Grab Riku's clothes and scatter them all over Sora's bedroom

22. When Sora walks in watch him try to clean up the mess

23. Come in his room and say "Oh my Sora, I never knew you and Riku are together"

24. Shave his head and blame it on Riku

25. Watch him beat up Riku

26. Last but not least replace Sora's shampoo bottle with chocolate sauce

* * *

Me: And that's how you do it

Axel: Finaly it's over *Starts to burn my letter box*

Me: AXEL!!!!

Axel: Hehehe sorry

Roxas: Hey Stumblealot would you like me to get Saix?

Axel: OH GOD ANY THING BUT HIM!!!!!!

Xigbar: No, no, no that won't do, we will get Xemnas

Axel: HE'S EVEN WORSE!!!

Me: Don't worry Axel's punishment will be much more frightening

Axel: Wha..what are you going to do with me?

Me: You'll see, you'll see

Axel: Help me

Me: Anyway hope you enjoyed the story and please review

Xigbar: Seriously please

Roxas: Please review

Axel: Help me


	3. Kairi

Me: Thanks for all of your comments

Roxas: hey has anyone seen Axel?

Me: Hehe um I mean...we won't be seeing Axel until the next chapter

Roxas: Why?

Me: Let's just say I'm giving him his punishment

Xigbar: Wow your pure evil

Me: Of course I am. Anyway here is how to piss off Kairi. Oh I also hate Kairi so there is going to be some nasty stuff about her.

Xigbar: I still think your evil

* * *

1. Replace Kairi's shampoo with glue

2. Die her hair black

3. Watch her scream

4. When Kairi is sleeping replace her make up kit with goth make up

5. Once she has put on the make up watch her scream

6. Go to Kairi with Sora and say "Oh my Kairi I never knew you where goth. Can I see your cuts?"

7. Get a big electrical fan and aim it at Kairi's short dress (or skirt whatever it is) and turn it on (Before you do make sure it is infront of someone like Ansem or Malificent)

8. Watch her dress fly up

9. Watch her faint

10. Grab Selphine's clothes and scatter them across the room

11. Watch Kairi scream and try to clean up the mess

12. Bring Sora to Kairi's bedroom and watch him say "Oh. My. God. Kairi I knew you were a couple with Selphine"

13. Grab Sora and Riku and make them kiss each other (make sure Kairi is there)

14. Watch die on the inside then watch her bash up Riku

15. When Kairi is asleep leave half a paupo fruit on her table with a note saying "Kairi I love you can you eat this for me?" sighned Sora. Give the other half to Donald

16. When Kairi comes to you saying "Guess what? Sora and I shared a paupo fruit, isn't that amazing?" Explain to her it was Donlad who gave you the paupo fruit, also say he ate the other half

17. Watch Kairi beat up Donald with her pissy keyblade

19. Tell Kairi that Wakka said your a whore

20. Watch her bash up Wakka

21. Throw Kairi into a pool filled with Kairi haters/ Sora lovers

22. Watch her get bashed

23. Watch Sora trying to save Kairi

24. Watch fangirls kiss Sora

25. watch Kairi bash then with Saix's Claymore

26. Last but not least when Kairi is asleep tie her hair to a horse and watch the horse drag Kairi around Destiny Island

* * *

Me: BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Xigbar: Ok....I think I heard Xemnas calling me I guess I better get going

Me: Oh no you don't *Grabs Xigbar* Do you want you have the same punishment like Axel's? *Axel come's through the door in his boxers covered with little scar's*

Axel: Help me *Marluxia comes in*

Marluxia: Hey we haven't finished playing our game *Grabs Axel and takes him away*

Axel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Roxas: ............

Xigbar: OH MY GOD!!!

Me: Ummm......hope you enjoyed the story so.....please review


	4. Riku

Me: Yesssssssssss my favourite character *hugs Riku doll*

Xigbar: Wow you really like him

Me: Who doesn't?

Axel: *twiches*

Roxas: You Ok?

Axel: Yes....I'm....I'm..f..f..fine

Roxas: I feel so so sorry for you

Me: Well that's what he gets for buring my stuff. Anyway how to Piss off Riku

* * *

1. Tell him he has girly hair

2. Give him half a paupo fruit with a note saying "Take it Riku and together we will rule the world" signed Ansem

3. Watch him beat Ansem to death

4. Replace Riku's shampoo bottle with BBQ sauce

5. Watch him scream

6. Video him getting dressed, then blackmail him

7. When Riku is in Ansem form tell him "OH MY GOD!!! YOUR THE PEDOFILE!!"

8. Throw him into a room full of fangirls

9. Watch him get raped by fangirls

10. Push Riku onto Malifecent (I think that's how you spell her name) and scream "MY EYE'S THEY BURN!"

11. Just before Riku get's taken over by Ansem release the fangirls

12. Watch them kill Ansem and rape Riku again

13. Grab his keyblade and say "Look it's a batman's keyblade. Where did you get it?"

14. Ok now this is tourcher. Go into Ansem's room and cover it in rose petals, candles, chocolates and put on some music (make sure there is a video camera somewhere hidden in the room). Then tell Ansem someone's burning his room, Tell Riku that Kairi has been kidnapped in Ansem's bedroom.

15. Once they are in the bedroom watch them try to kill each other, then put it on Youtube

16. Pull Riku's pant's down XD

17. Grab Sora's Keyblade and poke Riku with it and say "I am the keyblade master fear me"

18. When Riku is in darkness form say "Why are you wearing a grass skirt?"

19. When Riku is in bed (In his boxers XD) open the door and let the fangirls in

20. Watch Riku get raped the third time

21. When Riku is wearing his blind fold take him to a cliff (With fangirls waiting down at the bottom) tell him to take three step forwards, then tell him to jump.

22. Once Riku has fallen watch him get raped by fangirls

23. Show him DeviantART pictures of him and Sora (Don't forget Ansem XD)

24. Watch him scream in terror

25. When Riku is still in his blind fold quietly take him to King Mickey's room, and tell him it's his bed (Make sure Mickey is in the bed as well)

26. In the morning watch them scream in terror

* * *

Me: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Roxas: I think you should go and apologies to Axel

Me: Fine *Walks up to Axel*

Me: Axel I'm sorry can we be friends again?

Axel: I don't know....

Me: I'll give you a cookie *Holds up cookie*

Axel: Cookie!!! *Grabs cookie and eats it*

Xigbar: And they lived happily ever after THE END

Me: ...........Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter and please REVIEW!!!!


	5. Donald Duck XD

Me: OMG Donald duck XD

Roxas: But why Donald?

Me: Well...some people want to piss off Donald, right?

Xigbar: I think this might get some more comments

Axel: Yeah because there are only some stories on how to piss Donald off

Me: Woop woop anyway time to Piss of Donald XD

* * *

1. Put lipstick all over his beak

2. Call him big beak

3. Grab his wand and throw a bolt of lightning at him

4. Grab his wand and burn Yen Sid, then blame it on Donald

5. Watch him kick his A**

6. When Donald is asleep pick him up and put him in Goofy's bed (Make sure Goofy is in the bed too)

7. When they wake up watch them scream

8. Push Donald onto Minnie and say "Donald how could you, I thought Mickey was your friend"

9. Once Mickey see's Donald on top of Minnie watch him get bashed

10. Put a Sora/Donald, Donald/Goofy, Donald/Mickey (if they exsist) on his bed with a note saying "Open"

11. Watch him faint (make sure you got it on camera)

12. Blackmail him for fainting

13. Replace his shampoo (or soap) with blue die XD

14. Watch him scream

15. Ok do the same but with black then put some bright yellow glasses on him and then scream "OMG a heartless kill it, kill it"

16. Watch Sora, Goofy and Mickey bash him

17. In battle knock out Donald and drag him behind a rock (without Sora, Goofy or Mickey seeing you) then pluck off all his feathers

18. Wake him up and say "Donald quick Sora needs your help"

19. Once he goes out to help watch everyone laugh at him

20. Watch Donald blush with embarresment

21. Last but not least kick his A**

* * *

Me: LMAO!!!

Axel: Wow I never knew you can piss him off like that

Roxas: I bet Sora would enjoy using these against Donald

Xigbar: ROFL!!!

Me: Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter I know I have so please REVIEW!!!


	6. Goofy

Me: Woo hoo fifth chapter, you know what that means?

Roxas: What?

Me: Presents!

Everyone: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Me: Now your presents are.......Cookies and Brownies!!!!!!!!

Everyone: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Ok now it's time to Piss off Goofy for some reason

* * *

1. Steal his sheild and write on it saying "PUSSY"

2. Die his clothes black

3. When Goofy is fighting Ansem with Sora and Donald cry out "Oi pussy over here" and watch him get a big sword smacked over his head

4. Pull Goofy's teeth out

5. Go to his room and paint it pink

6. Watch him faint

7. Kick him in the balls

8. Push Goofy onto Donald and say "Oh my not more Yoai"

9. While Goofy is sleeping grab him and put him in Daisy's room with Daisy sleeping

10. When they wake up watch them scream

11. When Donald comes and see's Goofy watch him kick his A**

12. Whenever Goofy says "Gwarsh" say "Goofy stop saying that were all sick of it"

13. Watch him cry while holding a video camera

14. Blackmail him for crying

15. Give the video camera to the villians

16. Watch them laugh at Goofy

17. Watch Goofy cry some more

18. Comfort Goofy and say "Don't cry Goofy it's not your fault for being a pussy"

19. Watch him try to kill himself while Sora and Donlad are trying to stop him

20. Sell him on Ebay

21. Grab his sheild and say "WTF!!!!You call this a weapon, I call it a piece of Sh**"

22. Watch him cry until all of Hollow Bastion is flooded

23. Last by not least grab Goofy and throw him into a pool full of heartless

* * *

Me: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Xigbar: Woah your obsessed with Riku being raped and Goofy crying......but why?

Me: It's a fangirl thing you'll never understand

Roxas: We've been around fangirls all the time so I think well understand

Axel: Yeah what goes through your sick little fangirl mind?

Me: Shut up and eat your cookie *Shoves a cookie into all of their mouths* Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please REVIEW!!!!! And maybe I'll tell you what goes through my sick little mind BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


	7. Mickey Mouse

Me: Woop, woop *runs around in circles*

Xigbar: Umm why you acting crazy?

Me: I don't know

Axel: Woop, woop *starts to burn my sisters room*

Me: Finally something I don't mind Axel burning

Axel: =D

Roxas: Hey weren't you ment to tell us what goes through your mind?

Me: Umm...after we Piss off Mickey

Roxas: Fine

* * *

1. Replace Mickey's clothes with a hula skirt and coconut bra's

2. When Mickey comes to help Riku from Ansem taking over him watch Ansem laugh

3. Watch Mickey blush while Riku covers his eyes

4. Pull Mickey's pants down in front of Ansem

5. Watch Ansem's say "I'm blind"

6. Push Mickey onto Donald and say "OMG!!!!" while Minnie and Daisy are in the room

7. Watch them kick their A**

8. Dress up as Xemnas and grab Mickey by the tail saying "God your small"

9. Watch Mickey try to kick your a**

10. Kick his a**

11. Put drugs in Mickey's drink

12. Tape Mickey going crazy

13. Blackmail him for going crazy

14. Show it to Riku, then watch Riku's eye's light up on fire

15. When Mickey is asleep dress him up as Ansem

16. Watch him scream and faint

17. *Giggle* When Mickey is asleep pick him up and put him in Ansem's bed (Make sure Ansem is in bed)

18. When they wake up tape them screaming

19. Show everyone in KH

20. Watch them die in horror

21. Die Mickey's clothes purple

22. Watch him cry and say "Why is this happening to me?"

23. Shave his head

24. Watch him Die

* * *

Me: HAHAHAHA!!!!

Roxas: Umm....

Me: Oh yeah now I will tell you what goes through my mind *Everyone looks at me* It's YAOI!!!!

Axel: Is that it?

Xigbar: Well that was boring

Me: Don't let me tell the fangirls where you are

Xigabr and Axel: Sorry

Me: Much better

Roxas: Umm Stumblealot there's a phone call for you

Me: Oh *Picks up phone* hello *Mickey starts to swear and scream* Umm you got the wrong number bye *Slams pone down quick*

Axel: Who was that?

Me: You do not wanna know....anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter and please REVIEW!!!!


	8. Maelficent

Me: Welcome back everyone!

Roxas: It sure has been a while

Xigbar: Geez how long has it been *Starts to count*

Axel: .......a few months I guess

Me: Time to piss off Maleficent

Roxas: Why?

Me: Because she's an old B****, she has horns on her head, she has green skin, she flirted with Riku *Shivers*, she creeps me out, shes a drama queen and she is a B**** also she called Xigbar fat

Xigbar: SHE DID WHAT!!!

Axel: Calm down Xigbar its alright

Xigbar: I'M GOING TO KILL HER!!! ONCE I GET HOLD OF HER I'M GONNA......

Me: Lets get on with pissing off Maleficent

Roxas: Oh boy

* * *

1. First off rip off her horns while shes asleep

2. Put mouse poison in her tea

3. Die her clothes PINK!!!

4. Tell her Hades did it

5. Watch her kick his A**

6. Laugh and say "Your neck is shaped like a vagina"

7. Tell her Ursula dared you to say that

8. Watch her kick her A**

9. Get the Heartless to attack her

10. Push Maleficent onto Riku and scream "CHILD RAPE, CHILD RAPE, CHILD RAPE!!!" over and over again

11. Follow number 10 and this time go to all of the worlds and scream "CHILD RAPE, CHILD RAPE, CHILD RAPE!!!"

12. When Maleficent is alone start to sing "Maleficent is a B**** she is just a witch, I really hate her why did Ansem date her?"

13. Run as fast as you can from her, if that doesn't work dress Riku up as you and let her chase after him

14. Dress up as Ansem (make sure you have the voice too) and kneel infront of her and say "Maleficent will you be my bride?"

15. If she says yes run and get the real Ansem and watch her kiss him to death

16. If no run as fast as you can grab the real Ansem and watch her burn him to death in her dragon form

17. When Maleficent is around Pete sing "Maleficent and Pete sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G"

18. RUN!!!!!

19. Kick her into a pool full of Nobodies and Heartless

20. Watch her die!!!

* * *

Xigbar: AND I"LL KICK HER ASS. AND. I. WILL. BE. HAPPY!!!!!!

Me: Well.... that was.... a very nice chapter

Axel: Nice! You call that nice! I had to listen to Xigbar rant about choking Maelficent with his own intestines

Roxas: So many threats.....I could feel...... my ears bleeding *Starts to shiver*

Me: Ok........Ummm while I try to calm down Roxas and put Xigbar in a Mental Home please REVIEW!!!

Xigbar: DO IT OR I'LL........

Axel: Blocked for too much violence and ear bleeding hope you liked this chapter


	9. Ansem

Me: Hi everyone!!

Axel: Where's Xigbar?

Me: He went to a mental hospital so our replacement is.........Zexion!

Zexion: Hi

Roxas: Umm hi

Axel: You got Emo boy!!!

Zexion: I'm not Emo! *Starts to cry*

Me: Great just great I have to calm him down! Thanks alot Axel

Axel: Any Time

Me: *Gives him evil glare* Anyway here is how to Piss off Ansem!!

* * *

1. Call him gay

2. When your alone with him say "Ansem, Ansem let down your hair" Then pull on it a hard as you can

3. Listen to him scream

4. When Ansem is having a shower take pictures (If your strong enough not to throw up) and show them to everyone!!!

5. Watch him die on the inside while people are laughing at him or throwing up

6. When Sora is Fighting Ansem in his final form (The last battle Sora fight's with him) shout "Put a shirt on you'll blind someone"

7. When Ansem is just about to take over Riku's body (I mean raping him) grab Riku and say "DON'T!!! HE'S GOT RABIES!!!!"

8. Run as fast as you can

9. Push Ansem onto Xemnas and scream "AHHHH!!!! ANSEM AND MANSEX!!! THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH FOR ME!!!" Then faint (Make sure they don't drag you to a bedroom)

10. Dress up as Riku and tell Ansem that you will be his slave and that you love him

11. Once Ansem screams in joy run and grab the real Riku

12. Once Ansem says "Come here RiRi" Watch Riku kick his A**

13. Force Maleficent to ask Ansem on a date

14. Watch Ansem rip off her face

15. In the Chain of Memories when Ansem was just about to rape Riku in some dark place scream "Oi Ansem your shoe lace is untied" When he looks down grab Demyx's Guitar and smash it over his head

16. Die his hair pink and tell Marluxia that Ansem is his role model

17. Watch Ansem scream while Marluxia is trying to rape him (Now he knows how it feels)

18. Push Ansem into a room full of Riku lovers

19. Watch them kick his A**

20. Kick him where the sun don't shine

21. Tell Darkside (Heartless) that Ansem said that he was ugly, fat and wasn't good in BED!!!! xD

22. Watch Ansem get his head ripped off by Darkside

* * *

Me: LOLOL!!!

Zexion: DIE AXEL DIE!!!!

Axel: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Roxas: Ummm Stumblealot we need help

Me: Oh for the love of god break it up you to!!!!

Zexion: Axel must DIE!!!!

Axel: HELP ME!!!!

Me: Uh oh

Roxas: Oh god. I never knew someone's back could bend that far. I think he's done no he's just putting Sora's keyblade up his A**. Oh no please don't put Axel in the oven, nope he did

Me: Ok while I try to calm down Zexion and get Axel out of the oven

Axel: I'm melting!!!

Me: Hope you enjoyed this story and please review *Runs to save Axel* I'm coming!!!!


	10. Ansem the Wise Beware

Me: Thanks for all of your comments!!!

Roxas: Poor Axel.....

Me: Since Axel got put into the oven by Zexion.....he's in hospital for three months.....Let's have a moment of silence for Axel

Everyone: ............................................*Cries*.............................................................................................

Xigbar: Guess What? I'm not crazy anymore!

Roxas: Good for you

Me: Ok to cheer everyone up I brought milk and cookies for everyone! Thanks to Raidenrevo!!!! *Gives Raidenrevo $50 dollars and hands everyone cookies and milk* There you go

Everyone: Thanks!

Me: Now to annoy Ansem the Wise! I'm gonna give this guy some slack cause he's old and had his name stolen from Ansem......that and I couldn't think of anything else soo here it is!!!

* * *

1. Die his hair black

2. Scare him

3. Watch him scream like a little girl

4. Give him some cookies

5. Drugged cookies

6. Watch him act crazy

7. When Ansem says "Nobody doesn't have a right to know. Nor does he have a right to be" (I think thats what he said) Say "Give the kid a break he just found out he doesn't exist and he has to give up everything to wake up Sora.....jeez....you'd be a horrible father"

8. Watch Roxas laugh while Ansem cries (Roxas: Wait a minute I don't have a heart so how can I laugh?)(Shut up this is my story... anyway)

9. Poke him with a stick

10. Poke him with a big stick

11. Poke him with Sephiroths sword

12. Browse his computer and see if he has Porn

13. If he does when Ansem walks in say "You dirty, dirty old man"

14. If he doesn't put Porn on his computer and when he walks in say "AHHHHH MY EYES!!!!"

15. When Ansem explains to you why he has Porn break his computer

16. Watch him cry

17. When Ansem was just about to blow up say "Move away from the machine if you want to live"

18. If he does watch the machine blow up and watch Ansem have his Happily Ever After (LOL)

19. If he doesn't watch him blow up

* * *

Me: There we are

Roxas: .......That was......SO MEAN!!!

Me: WHAT!!! I said I'd give this guy some slack didn't I?

Xigabr: You went to far when you wrote 12, 13,14 and 15

Me:.........You're right I did went to far *Phone rings*

Xigbar: *picks up phone* Hello.....yes....she's here....yes...yes....I'll put her on... It's for you

Me: *Takes phone from Xigbar* hello

Anem: YOU F***ING B***H!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!! ONCE I FIND YOU I"M GONNA.....

Roxas: Blocked for violence and ear bleeding and more ear bleeding

Me: *Put's phone down and feel's blood coming down my ear's*

Roxas: Are you ok? *I haven't moved*

Xigbar: I think she just........died...

Roxas: She didn't die Xigbar her ear's are just bleeding...wait her ears are bleeding..... QUICK CALL THE HOSPITAL THIS IS SERIOUS!!!!!

Xigbar: *Starts to call*

Roxas: Sorry everyone but Stumblealot has a serious injury right now!!! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and please comment!!!!!! DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT STUMBLEALOT!!!!!


	11. Namine

Roxas: Stumblealot can't do this story so we've hired a replacement. Come on out *Xemnas walks in*

Axel: WTF!!! Our replacement is MANSEX!!!!

Xemnas: Call me that agian and I'll chop off your balls understand? *Axel's nod's*

Xigbar: Why did Stumblealot hire Xemnas???

Roxas: I have know idea...

Axel: Ok so who are we pissing off today?

Xemnas: Namine....the good thing about this job is I don't have to make up any of this crap

Xigbar: This isn't just any old crap this is GOOD CRAP!!!

Everyone:........................

Xemnas: Anyway... like Stumblealot says time to Piss off Namine......god I'm starting to hate this job already

* * *

1. Tare apart Namine's drawing book and get her a new one

2. Put Yaoi into the book

3. Watch her eyes light on fire

4. Dare Repliku to look under Namine's dress

5. Watch Namine beat the Sh** out of him with crayons

6. Die Namine's hair purple and die her dress black

7. When she screams tell her "Black and purple are the new yellow and white"

8. RUN!!!

9. When Namine is talking to Roxas about his past say "Kiss each other, you know you want to" Then run for your life

10. In Chain of Memories push Namine onto Marluxia and say "NAMINE!!! How could you do that to Sora......after what he's done for you" Then run and tell Sora

11. Watch Sora cry while Namine is trying to calm down Sora

12. Shave her head

13. Watch her get her cry

14. When Namine says somthing to Roxas about being a witch say "Bitch.....what Namine meant to say is Bitch"

15. Draw on Namine's face

16. Force Repliku to kiss her

17. Watch her put in horrible Yaoi into Repliku's memories

18. Replace Namine's Drawing book with pictures of Roxas naked!

19. Watch her try to look away

20. Accidently sign Namine up to a Struggle match with Xemnas, Sephiroth and Ansem *Xemnas: Stumblealot thanks for Yunie Talin for this but Stumblealot changed it a bit*

21. Watch her DIE!!!

* * *

Xemnas: Well thats it we can all go home *I walk in*

Me: Hey guys whats up? *Turns to see Xemnas* AHHHH MANSEX WHO HIRED HIM?

*Everyone points to me*

Me: I hired Luxord not Xemnas *Xemnas runs away with my draw filled with underwear*

Xemnas: FINALLY YOUR UNDERWEAR IS MINE!!!

Everyone: WTF!!!

Roxas: We have to stop him...

Me: Don't worry that's not my underwear

Axel: Then who's is it *Me starts to laugh*

Me: Marluxia *Here Xemnas get bashed by Marluxia while everyone laughs*

Xigbar: Nice to have you back Stumblealot

Me: Thanks Xigbar I'm glad to be back now that Vexen has cured my ear bleeding problem

Axel: What now?

Roxas: We end the chapter just like always

Me: Well hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review.....sorry if it wasn't that funny and a bit off I was really tired when I did this, well see ya next time


	12. Repliku

Me: OMFG!!!!

Roxas: What is it!

Me: It's been four weeks without the internet and now it's back on!!!

Axel: Hey why did the internet stop working?

Me: ...............................I have no idea *looks at Xigbar*

Xigbar: I didn't do it! How dare you acuse me of breaking it, I didn't do it! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!

Everyone: ................

Roxas: It was you wasn't it?

Xigbar: I'm so ashamed

Me: How???

Xigbar: You know how you told me not to run with my guns fully loaded?

Me: Yeah......

Xigbar: Well I shot the internet box and um....I didn't know what to do with it, so I gave it to your dogs

Me: WHAT!!!

Xigbar: I didn't mean to I swear

Me: YOUR GOING TO DIE!!!!

Xigbar: EEP!

Axel: Umm......lets piss of Repliku shall we...

* * *

1. Die Repliku's hair pink

2. Tell Marluxia that he is Repliku's "Role Model" that's why he died his hair

3. Watch Marluxia hug Repliku while throwing flowers in the air

4. Lock Repliku in a closet.... a small closet

5. Tell Ansem "Riku" is in the closet waiting for you

6. Watch Repliku scream and bang on the door while Ansem is raping him..... or playing strip poker....

7. Tell Repliku that he's Vexen's little girl

8. Run for your life!

9. When Repliku does his creepy laugh say "There is a difference from you and Riku..... you have a creepy laugh" Then LOL!

10. Poke Repliku..... with his sword

11. Follow Repliku saying "Fake!" non stop

12. Push Repliku on Vexen and say "RAPE!!!"

13. Kick him in the nuts

14. RUN!!

15. When Repliku is in his "Dark Form" (Me: I call it the Dark dress of DOOM!! LOL) grab a little Ukalale (Me: It's a small giutar.....I think that's how you spell Ukalale...oh well) and sing "Alo ha oi, alo ha oi come on Repliku join in. You got the outfit" make sure you keep on singing "Alo ha oi" over and over again.

16. Watch Repliku die in embarrassment

17. When Repliku loses his memory go up to him and tell him everything. Then say "So really your a FAKE!!! and your not friends with Sora and you wont get Namine"

18. Watch him cry like a baby

19. Give him some alcohol to make him feel better

20. Watch him go crazy

21. Watch him wake up and realise that Ansem is sleeping beside him

22. Laugh while he screams

* * *

Me: XIGBAR!!!

Xigbar: I'm sorry....I didn't know your dogs don't eat boxes.... and sorry of killing them

Me: WHAT!!!

Xigbar: Well you see.... they kind of died sometime today... so.... I barried them under your bed

Me: WHAT!!! MY POOR, POOR DOGS *I start to cry* MY POOR SWEET DOGS..... THEY WERE SO YOUNG!!

Roxas: It's ok, it's ok.... everything is going to be alright

Axel: Umm Xigbar... you better run

Me: *Gets Saix's Claymore* YOU. KILLED. MY. DOGS!!!!

Xigbar: EEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!!!

Me: DIEEE *Fire starts coming out of my mouth*

Axel: Um.... let's have a moment of silence for Stumblealot's dog's Itchy and Scratchy

Everyone: .......................

Roxas: Ok hope you enjoyed this chapter, and remember...

Axel: REVIEW!!!

Me: DIEEEE!!!!

Xigbar: HELP MEEEEE!!!!


	13. Heartless

Me: Hello everybody!! Sorry we have been so lazy

Roxas: Who you calling lazy?

Me: Axel and Xigbar

Axel and Xigbar: Why am I lazy?

Me: Because while me and Roxas were doing the story you were sleeping on the couch for three days with pizza all over you

Xigbar: Good times, good times

Me: Fluffy!

Roxas: Who?

Me: Fluffy my pet heartless

Axel: You have a pet heartless?

Me: Yup *We see Xigbar running around with Fluffy scrating his eyes...I mean eye out*

Xigbar: GET THIS MOTHER F***ER OFF OF ME!!!

Me: Um uh.... Time to piss off some Heartless

* * *

1. Poke it with a stick

2. Hug it to death

3. Role it up into a little ball and play basketball

4. Tease the heartless by running around with a heart shaped cookie with it's name on it

5. Watch the heartless run after you

6. Kick it

7. Give one to Riku as a present

8. Watch him kill it

9. Tie a heart shaped cookie to a fishing rod and jump on one of those flying heartless (Whatever its name is) and put the cookie infront of it

10. Have a nice relaxing flight

11. Finally once the heartless gets tired give it the cookie (with a bomb in it)

12. Watch it explode

13. Chop off one or two of his antennas

14. Watch it cry *Xigbar: It's still on my F***ing face!!*

15. Poke one of its eyes out

16. Tell Sora that one of the Heartless raped Kairi

17. Watch Sora kill all of the heartless

18. Laugh at it and say "Your so SMALL"

19. Watch it grow taller and taller and BIGGER

20. Run for you life unless you have a keyblade kill it

21. Tease a heartless with a heart shaped cookie

22. Watch it cry (Well fake cry)

23. Give up and give it the cookie (Did I meantion it had poison in it?)

24. Watch it die

* * *

Me: Well that was one of the most boring chapter ever

Xigbar: Um hello ITS STILL ON MY FACE!!

Me: Oh right forgot about you. Oh Fluffy I have a cookie for you! *Fluffy gets off of Xigbars face runs over and eats the cookie*

Roxas: Please say there wasn't a bomb in there

Axel: Cause that would be AWESOME!!

Me: Of course not Fluffies my pet *Starts to give Fluffy a tummy rub* Who's a good heartless? You are!

Xigbar: I'm gonna kill that heartless!

Axel: HOLY S*** MAN WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE!!!

Roxas: Um Axel his eye was always like that, you know with the eye patch on it

Axel: Oh yeah... well Xigbar it sucks to be you

Xigbar: *Starts to put names on his killing list* Yeah, yeah

Me: *Hugs Fluffy* Well hope you enjoyed this chapter!! See ya next time!!

Roxas: I've gotta bad feeling about next chapter


	14. Pete

Me: Hi everyone! I've got some bad news

Axel: OMG your a man!

Me: No Axel I'm not a man

Roxas: Then what is it?

Me: This is my final chapter on How to Piss off Every Character in KH

Everyone: OH NO!!!

Xigbar: But....but why?

Me: Because I've ran out of ideas

Roxas: Wait there's still Cloud, Leaon, Sid, Yuffie, Aerith, Sephiroth, Tidus, Selphine and Wakka

Me: But they are Final Fantasy characters not KH

Axel: Still counts

Me: No it doesn't any way don't worry I'll be doing another story

Xigbar: What kind of story?

Me: Well it's going to be like Ask the BBS Gang or something, 12 question per chapter

Axel: Thats great but what about us?

Me: You can come but you have to be Lea

Axel: Damit

Roxas: What about us?

Me: Errr... I'll get back to you on that one but now its time to Piss off Pete

* * *

1. Put Mickey Mouse ears on him

2. Beat him up with Maleficents staff

3. Break Maleficents staff and give to Pete

4. Watch Maleficent burn Pete in her dragon form

5. Throw him off a cliff

6. Die his skin pink!

7. RUN!

8. Make him play horse rides with you

9. Watch him break his back

10. Go to Timeless River and sink Pete's boat

11. Watch him go mad

12. Replace his clothes with Minnies dresses

13. Laugh as he try's on the dress and goes "WTF"

14. Push Pete onto Maleficent

15. Quickly scream "THAT'S DISGUSTING"

16. Take a picture and give it to everyone and I mean EVERYONE!!!

17. Pull on his ears

18. In the World That Never Was find Pete

19. When you find him wait till he's in battle and give him a big, sugar coated, iced, hearts-shaped cookie

20. Watch him say "Thanks" then watch all of the Heartless suddfenly attacking him

21. For an excuse say "Xigbar told me to" *Xigbar: Hey!*

22. Kick him where the sun don't shine

23. Put your hand behind your back and say to Pete "Sorry for the jokes I didn't mean to hurt you, here this is for you" Then punch him in the face and run for your life

* * *

Me: LOLOLOL

Roxas: What about US!

Me: Oh yeah Xigbar you can join but you have to be Braig

Xigbar: Yay I get my eye back! I do get my eye back right?

Me: Yeah

Xigbar: Happy days are here again!

Roxas: What about me?

Me: Sorry Roxas you can't come this is ten years in the past and your not in it

Roxas: Yes I am see look *Hands me a piece of paper*

Me: Roxas thats Ventus who looks like you I'm sorry but you can watch from the side lines

Roxas: *Mumbles something*

Me: What was that?

Roxas: Nothing

Axel: What now?

Me: Well we say goodbye to our fans then end the story

Axel: I'll miss this place

Me: Well thank you for reading How to Piss off Every Character in KH hope you enjoyed all of the chapters and I can't wait for you to read my new story "Ask the Birth By Sleep Gang" Say goodbye everyone

Axel: Bye

Xigbar: Bye, bye

Roxas: See ya

Me: Goodbye everyone say goodbye Fluffy

*Fluffy waves goodbye*

Me: see ya soon


	15. Ventus Its not OVER!

Me: Hi everyone!

Roxas: Hey I thought you were going to end this story?

Me: Well I changed my mind

Xigbar: Why?

Axel: Let me guess you couldn't leave us alone because you feel so guilty leaving us and so you've come up with another story just so you could be with us

Me: No.... because Scout - 116 gave me some good ideas thanks Scout - 116

Axel: Oh.... ok....

Me: And I also couldn't leave you guys

Evryone: YAY!!

Me: Ok today we are pissing off Ventus form Birth by Sleep

Roxas: Err who?

Xigbar: The guy who looks like you

Roxas: Oh that guy

Me: Well I don't know much about BBS but it's time to Piss Ventus/Ven off *Fluffy jumps into my arms*

* * *

1. Call him Roxas

2. Keeps calling him Roxas

3. Die his hair red

4. Blame it on Lea

5. Watch him kick is ass

6. When Ven gets frozen and gets thrown off the cliff say "I got him, I got him" then miss him and say "I don't got him"

7. When Ven says "Destroy me" say "Ok then if thats what you want" then put on a hockey mask, grab a chainsaw and run after him

8. Give him TerraXVen stories for his birthday

9. Watch him throw up

10. Steal his draw of underwear and sell them on ebay

11. Put Ven on a blind date

12. Take him to the restraunt with a blind fold on

13. Grab Master Xehanort and put him in a dress

14. Take off the blind old and watch Ven in horror as he sees Master Xehanort in a dress

15. Give him VenXVanitas stories for chirstmas

16. Watch him die

17. Video tape him in the shower and black mail him

18. Show the video tape to EVERYONE!!!

19. Watch him die as everyone laughs at him

20. Eat his lucky charm

21. When Ven finds out you've eaten it say "I thought it was a Paupo Fruit"

22. Push Ven onto Terra and say "OMG YAOI!"

23. Watch the fan girls run in

24. Give Ven an Unverse as a pet

25. Watch his pet claw his eyes out

* * *

Me: WOOHOO!!!! I feels so good to be back BABY!!

Axel: Woohoo *Burns his own underwear draw*

Roxas: Axel you just burnt your draw of underwear

Axel: DAMN IT!

Xigbar: Tee hehehe

Axel: I'll show you to laugh at me one eye! BURN BABY BURN!! *Burns Xigbar*

Xigbar: Ouch....

Me: Err...ok.... well thanks for reading this chapter hoped you all liked it and there will be more to come!

Xigbar: Help me

Me: Ok Xigbar I'll get the bandages

Roxas and Axel: REVIEW!!!!


	16. Aqua

Me: ...... Hi

Roxas: Stumblealot whats wrong?

Me: .....

Xigbar: Dude she's really looks depressed

Axel: I know just how to cheer her up *Burns my sister's room*

Me: ......... *sniff*

Roxas: Dear god she's crying

Xigbar: Ok what's wrong?

Me: Just some...s...stupid boys at school thats all

Axel: WHERE ARE THEY I'LL KILL THEM JUST POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND I'LL KICK THEIR ASS!

Roxas: ME TOO!

Xigbar: I'LL POKE THEIR EYE OUT!

*Fluffy purrs in my arms*

Me: Thanks guys but.... we should really be getting on to the story. This time it's Aqua *sniff*

Xigbar: Axel, Roxas come here *They all huddle in a group and whisper*

Me: You'll find out what their saying in the end now, it's time to PISS AQUA OFF! *sniff*

* * *

1. Call her blue cheese

2. Shave her head and give her a beard

3. Watch her scream then call her "Master Xehanort"

4. Watch her faint

5. Push Aqua onto Maleficent and scream "Oh. My. Fucking. God. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO TERRA!" then run off

6. Give her a mohawk

7. Watch her die

8. When Aqua says "Give me back my friends heart" Say "Alright, alright geez your so impatient!" throw a heart at her

9. When she tries to give Terra his heart laugh and say "It's fake you dumbass"

10. Watch her die in embarrassment

11. When she is running to save Ventus trip her over and say "Sorry thought you were Master Xehanort again"

12. When Aqua talks to Ansem the Wise/Diz on the beach play the song "_Can you feel the LOVE tonight_"

13. RUN!

14. Call her Kairi over and over again

15. Watch her brain explode

16. When Aqua is fighting Vanitas play the song "_Kiss the girl_"

17. Watch her die even more

18. When Aqua is with Master Equarus sing "Aqua and Equarus sittting in the tree. K.I.S.S.I.N.G!"

19. Run as fast as you can

20. Give her a present saying "From Terra"

22. When she opens her present make sure you stand back a little

23. BANG!

24. Push her into a hole full of unversed

* * *

Xigbar: Ok lets go through the plan we find those boys knock then out

Roxas: Roll them up in a carpet

Axel: And throw then off a bridge!

Me: What are you doing?

Axel: Nothing.... what are you doing?

Me: Just cutting my wris.... I mean writting poetry thats all

*Fluffy holds up a sign saying she cut her self*

*Axel whispers to Roxas*

Axel: Holy shit she's turing into an Emo what do we do?

Roxas: I don't know.... should we comfort her?

Me: I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life!

Xigbar: Ok..... looks like we are going to have to say goodbye. Hoped you've enjoyed this chapter!

Roxas: And please send some comforting words or some advice she is really depressed

Axel: and remember REVIEW!


	17. Terra

Roxas: Hi guys, sorry but Stumblealot wont be doing this story. She is suffering from depression and so we decided to help her by putting her in aroom with Sora to see whether his stupidity will make her happy again

Axel: Oh why Stumblealot?, WHY!

Xigbar: Ok Axel knock it off she is going to be fine... I hope...

Roxas: If only she wasn't being picked on from those boys maybe she wouldn't be like this

Axel: LET'S BURN THEM, BURN THEM ALL. BURN THEM UNTIL THERES NOTHING BUT ASH!

Xigbar and Roxas: ...

Xigbar: Well we can't hire another host it just wouldn't be the same

Roxas: The only thing we can do is just get on with the story

Axel: I'LL BURN THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Xigbar: Very nice Axel now go over there so you wont burn anything

Axel: *mumbles something*

Roxas: Well it's TIME TO PISS OFF TERRA!

* * *

1. Shave off his eyebrows

2. When Terra is doing the exams put fire ants down his pants

3. Now watch him DANCE!

4. Call out Terra's name endlessly until he says 'What? What do you want?'

5. After he asks what do you want throw a cream pie at his face (Or something else)

6. RUN!

7. Push Terra onto Master Xehanort and scream "TERRA! BUT...BUT HOW COULD YOU BETRAY AQUA, HE'S SO. OLD!" then throw up

8. When Terra is fighting Xigbar keep screaming his name

9. When he asks 'what do you want' say "Your shoe lace is untied" when Terra looks down watch him get shot by Xigbar a thousand times (Xigbar: Thats what you get when you cut one of my eyes!)

10. Give him Terra/Ventus, Terra/Master Xehanort and Terra/ Master Equarus fanfiction stories

11. Watch him faint in shock

12. Make him do the Caramel Dansen Dance! Then record it and show it to Aqua and Ven

13. Watch them laugh at Terra while he dies in embarrestment

14. Poke Terra with a stick

15. When Master Xehanort has taken control of Terra (Ok I'm getting tired of spelling Master Xehanorts whole name I'm just gonna do MX) go up to him, look straight into his eyes and say "Your so...OLD!" Then run!

16. When Terra is fighting MX put Ventus down his pants!

17. Watch him scream 'WHAT THE F**K' then try to get Ven out while MX is LHAO (Laughing His Ass Off)

18. When Terra is showing his wooden keyblade to Aqua and Ven grab it and say "Thats no keyblade! Thats a vibrater, hey Aqua here's an early Birthday Present"

19. RUN AND DON'T STOP RUNNING!

20. Blow Terra up

21. Push Terra onto Ventus and scream "CHILD RAPE" then report it to Master Equarus

22. Watch Terra cry while Master Equarus is slapping his bum or telling him how much he has disgraced him

23. After all this make sure you know how to RUN!

* * *

Roxas: Well that wasn't so bad, even though we made this story

Xigbar: I like it when I shoot Terra a thousand times!

Axel: BURN!

Roxas: Calm down Axel we will find these guys sort them out and then you can burn them

Axel: Really?

Xigbar: Really, Really

Roxas: Hey where's Fluffy?

Fluffy: *Just ate all the cookies from Xigbars secreat stash*

Xigbar: You BASTERED! *Tries to get Fluffy but is stopped by Axel*

Roxas: Well this isn't going to be good, well thanks for watching and remember if someone stole your cookies it was proberly Fluffy

Fluffy: *Hold up sign saying: REVIEW!*


End file.
